Jumping off the high dive.

Jumping off the high dive is like spending the night at Mimi's. For Miles, spending the night at his grandparent's house is like jumping off of the high dive for me. He desperately wants to do it but right when he gets to the edge he just can't bring himself to get there so he calls us from a back bedroom...secretly and asks to come home. Every summer I used to climb the ladder at the JCC pool and climb to the top of the high dive thinking that I would be able to jump. Why couldn't I? It wasn't THAT high...and I love water! So I would get to the edge of the board...look down and gulp, back down and walk down the stairs. For Miles, he packs up, gathers his 'friends', noise machine, journal, pens, gameboy, itouch, clothes and pillow and goes over to his grandparent's. He is SURE he wants to stay and tells us goodnight. And then, an hour later he calls from his dad's old bedroom in a hushed tone telling me not to tell anyone that he's calling. I ask what I am supposed to his grandmother and he tells me to tell his grandmother that his father has a 'special project' and he has to come home. I know that deep-down he wants to stay. I know he wants to because this summer he is going to sleep-away camp for an entire month and there is no backing down, no calling us, no coming to get him. I know he's trying to jump off of his high dive. He'll get there. Soon enough.