Bully Schmully

I don't like the word bully because it can mean so many things. Most people think of a bully as someone that big and mean and pushes and shoves your kid in the hall or the kid that starts fights after school. I like to think of the bully as actually the littlest kid who tries to intimidate my kid, get under his skin and scare him into not telling us what is really going on or the kid that follows your kid around bugging them about where he/she lives and saying that he's coming to get them! That's what has been going on at our house lately. Some kids have been taking Miles' lunch at school and I would call that bullying. FYI: I make a great lunch. If your child is envious of Miles' lunch here is what is in it so that your child can have the same thing: beef jerky, apple juice, 5 tomoatoes, granola bar and 1 mini hershey bar. That's it. Nothing too exciting! If your child cannot sit at his/her lunch table and eat quietly (or loudly) and know that he/she is safe then there is something going on here. So, today I had my protective mom face on and went to school to get to the bottom of the situation - which I thought I had done yesterday. We have always told Miles a few things about fighting at school. #1 - fighting is not going to happen at school. #2 - the second guy always gets into trouble. Miles is always the 2nd guy. I talked to the lunch lady - the infamous lunch lady and her first response was that Miles should fight back. Good thing she's not dispensing advice to the kids on a daily basis because this is horrible advice. He shouldn't have to fight back! She then told me that he should have everything he needs when he gets into the lunchroom. She obviously hasn't met our son...he tends to be a bid disorganized and that is just part of who he is.

Part of our job as parents and teachers is to protect our children. How can we protect them when we tell them not to fight back. We have to teach them to be brave and strong and willful and not to backdown from the kids that are stronger. There has to be a way to teach them to stand up for themselves without getting themselves into any trouble (which is what happened to Miles yesterday). He stood up for himself and landed himself in the principal's office. Life isn't fair and things happen that aren't fair. But we have to give our kids the skills to win against the kids that are just plain mean and somehow get what they want and never get punished for it.