Being a better mom...

Where is your 'me' time? I know I have talked about this before, but I struggle with that. Where is that time? I have come to the conclusion that even though I don't want it to be the gym is going to have to be my 'me' time so I went today. And I laughed at myself b/c as I am on the elliptical I was chanting to myself and hopefully not outloud b/c I didn't want to sound like a crazy person, "this is for me, this is for me, this is for me". Honestly, I hate working out. I hate sweating. I hate the entire process, but in the end exercise is going to be the best thing for me. The physical release of stress, the movement, the getting up and doing something and the taking time out of my day to make myself a healthier person for my family. Genetics are not on my side, people. They just aren't - and I can't sit around waiting to be thin. It's not going to happen...I have tried that...it doesn't work. So...if you happen to bump into me at the Health Zone and if you hear a crazy person talking to herself saying, this is for me...this is for me...that would be me...b/c I am reminding myself that the schvitzing and muscle stretching and movement is for me...it really is. I am slowly realizing that.

Being different...

Kids like being the same as each other. Even the slightest difference makes them so uncomfortable. Glasses, braces, being small, being tall, being bigger, any difference. Miles has struggled with being Jewish for a while. He goes through spurts where he is proud of being Jewish and then not-so-proud. Last night Miles told us that he wished he wasn't Jewish. He didn't like being different. He hated when people said, 'ask Miles' when someone had a question about being Jewish. Scott and I both told him he should be proud of being Jewish. It's something special and something to be proud of and definitely not to be ashamed of. But we both understand the need to fit in. At some point he will realize that it's okay. I hear myself telling him almost everyday that everyone has something that makes them different. We had a Sesame Street book that we used to read to him called 'We're Different, We're the Same'. I used to love reading it to him b/c it reminded him that even though everyone has something different about them, hair color, eye color, skin color, whatever it is, we are all the same, PEOPLE, living here together and it doesn't matter what you are, who you are, we are all people, just trying to muddle through all of this together. That's all that matters. Jewish or not. He'll get there, but it sure is a long road.

Striking a balance...

Yesterday was report card day. We were thrilled with Miles' report card. He did so great and we could not have been happier with his performance. He wasn't as happy. He got 4 A's and 1 B. The one B was one point away from the A. Had he done extra credit he could have gotten the A - a teachable moment for sure and we used it as such. Every week Miles has the chance to earn extra credit in English and he doesn't choose to do it so in this case it would have made the difference. But, our kids have to learn that for themselves. In 4th grade it really doesn't count, but as they get older it sure will. We were pleased that he was unhappy with himself because it means he cares, even though he says he doesn't. His schoolwork has improved dramatically, along with his behavior. We are trying to strike a balance. School is great...still are trying to lick the getting ready in the morning, throwing away of the trash, putting away of the toys, putting the laundry into the hamper, but I wouldn't trade any of that for the fact that school is going great for the first time in his entire life. He feels confident, comfortable and knows that he can do a good job and that means the world to all of us. So, it's all about striking a balance.Isn't that what life is about?

Mooooom...I'mmmm booooorred.

Yes - yesterday was apparently one of those days that was boring. I think Miles woke up and was destined to be bored. He was determined. It did not matter what we had planned...didn't matter what was going on...he knew that he was going to be bored. He went to synagogue and afterwards I promised that we would run by Pooches because they were having a rescue event and he was going to be able to play with the pooches up for adoption. I threw a wrench in the plan when I picked him up (which, if you know our son, is not something we should do b/c once he knows the plan he knows the plan. Changing the plan often leads me to much stife...unnecessarily!). I offered to him the option of swimming at the Health Zone. He did not like that idea AT ALL! He thought there were going to be 'too many OLD people there' (his words, not ours) and they would be creepy and he did not want to swim! Okay - point taken. So, I took him over to Pooches for a while and he played with the most adorable puppies, ever. We headed home where he HAD to each lunch, what mean parents we are! After a while the boredom set in. There is absolutely nothing to do in our house, forgetting the 2000 legos we have, Wii, multiple computers, games, toys outside, etc. There was just NOTHING to do. So, Miles and I embarked on a walk with the dogs. It was much colder than I expected but we braved it anyway and he carried his skateboard with him. We discovered he's been skateboarding sans pads so I made him bring the pads. He informed me the pads were now slowing him down - somehow I doubt that, but oh well - we'll go with it for now. He skateboarded around the park for a while, showed both Scott and I his new 'skills' and then we headed home, in the car thankfully - Scott had come to meet us! Sundays can be SOOO relaxing but yes, boring to, but that's the fun part sometimes. We are more than happy to help entertain but sometimes he has to figure out something fun to do on his own.

The Gimmies

Miles used to have this great book by Stan and Jan Berenstain - The Berenstain Bears Get the Gimmies! I think we have read this book 100,000 times to Miles and somehow we always have a case of the Gimmies. Case in point - tonight we are going to an Oiler's game at the BOk Center and tomorrow he is going to the Globetrotters there again so I told him - we aren't buying a bunch of junk tonight but I am sure you can get something tomorrow - that didn't register with him. Our child has everything - everything he could ever want and need and we really try to instill this in him. We buy for others at the holiday; donate toys constantly but still can't lick the need to have 'things'. It's a constant battle...the gimmies!

Who's afraid of the big bad math wolf?

I think Miles is. I was...and he is also. The funny thing is that he's actually good at math. He just doesn't think that he is. He has ZERO confidence and I am at a loss as to how to build it up right now. He has taken to hiding his homework thinking that if he doesn't do it surely it won't catch up to him. I never hid my homework...too fearful that someone would find out...knowing that my parents would get a note or a call. I do remember almost failing geometry and my parents having to come in for a meeting and all I needed was some extra help. I never understood it and never will but you know what? I don't need to...I will never use geometry in my life and I don't care. BUT - I can't instill that in my son. I try to help him. I try to go through the problems with him but he shuts down completely...just like I did. I remember the nights sitting at the table with my dad just crying and crying b/c I didn't understand it so I know where this kid is coming from, but the difference is that he actually GETS it..he just doesn't think he does. It's about building confidence...helping him realize that he CAN do it and that is OUR challenge.

How do they know?

I often wonder how boys know how to be men...how do they know to objectify women when their father's don't necessarily do that? How do they know that they might like hooters even if their father's don't? How do they know they should like football, basketball, etc. It's fascinating stuff. Same with girls and dolls and dresses and such. Our boy is one of those boys. It occurred to me the other morning when we were watching the Golden Globe wrap-up and he told me that the women looked 'hotter' when they were wet in the rain. I thought - how in the world would you come to that conclusion? How does he know this? It's not like we have copies of the SI Swimsuit issue laying around or house or worse! He doesn't watch E! (that often) and it's not like Nick or Disney are talking about shower scenes. Is it really in the genes? Hormones? It's astounding to someone that grew up in a house with girls...this is all unchartered territory for me. If this is any indication...teenager Miles is going to be quite a handful!